The Spider Man

'DING'!

'Wooooooshhh Klack'

'Wooooooshhh Ka-Thump'

'What a strange little man, and, whats that a tattoo on his nose?' I thought to myself.

"They say a 1/4" thread of spider silk is strong enough to bring a jumbo jet out of the sky"

'How odd I thought, this little man with the tattoo on his nose would be talking about spiders and such.'

"Uh huh" 'I half nodded, half mumbled non commitedly, hoping it would end right there.'

He fidgeted and then reached up and rubbed his nose where the tattoo was.

"They say bumble bees can't fly, did ya know that?" he queried of me.

'What is with this little man, is it his job to survey the general population on their knowledge of insects?'

"N . . . n . . . . no I don't think so" I stammered.

"True true" he said.

'I'd swear he wiggled his nose with the tattoo at me.'

"Aerodynamically speaking they should fall from the sky like a brick" he backed up his claim. "Yet they fly like . . . . . . well Bumblebees"

'OK this is getting out of hand I thought.'

"I am sure the Bumble Bees could care less about aerodynamics" Was the best I could come up with.

'I was so, not into this conversation, with the little man, with the tattoo on his nose.'

'This obviously didn't satisfy him as I saw him fidget some more, then once again he reached up and rubbed his nose where the tattoo was. I knew I was in for more spider trivia, oh joy.'

"They say the Jumping Spider can jump more than 50 times its own body length, that's like the length of a foot ball field to you and me" he spoke again with authority.

'My diminutive companion was starting to get on my nerves, what had I done to deserve this I questioned myself?'

"Football you say? thats something I never knew" I replied.

"Yeah but they don't bite, so you are safe" My pint sized friend with the tattoo on his nose fired back.

"Well thank heaven for small . . . . . umm small favors" 'I hoped he wouldn't take my Small comment as some type of personal attack. Last thing I needed was an angry midget with a Napoleon complex attacking me.'

'True true" he repeated. 'Again with that twitching nose.'

"They say the Black Widow female spider eats her mate after" 'DING!' "sex" he said.

"Wooooooshhh Klack"

"Excuse me, My Floor" I said as I squeezed past the strange little man with the tattoo on his nose.

"Same time tomor. . . . ." he started to say but was cut off.

"Wooooooshhh Ka-Thump"

"Afraid Not" I said to no one but the stainless steel doors.

"Tomorrow I am taking the stairs!!"